2) Find four co-workers you can easily blackmail or extort with little effort. Threaten them with some extreme form of punishment such as being forced to write for Motor Trend.

3) Pick up each co-worker in the morning by slowing down to no less than five miles an hour and scream, “GET IN! GET IN!”

4) In the evening, repeat step 3, but this time say “GET OUT! GET OUT!”. Increase speed to ten miles per hour for spontaneous grins and giggles.

5) Finally, plan ahead for future repairs. Go find a replacement low-mileage engine for $300 and replacement transmissions for $200 a piece. Yes I have already done this step.

Total cost.

2500 miles of commuting at 25 miles per gallon = $250
(100 gallons consumed with gas at $2.50/gallon)

Insurance is… ahhh… let’s take our chances.

Registration costs… absolutely nothing. Just add cardboard onto rear bumper that says ‘TAG APPLIED FOR’

Repair and maintenance costs – $500 a year because why the hell not. It sounds good!

Total cost $750 / 5 people = $150 a year
$150 divided by 250 workdays = 60 cents a day.

With your $7000 in savings, purchase put options for Tesla that are payable on or before January 2020. You should have your house fully paid off in three years.